Beware The Boogerman

Enter Sheriff John and his daughter, Deputy Debbie—or "Dinkie" if you've got a death wish and excellent health insurance. These two have the world's worst job description: keeping the peace between humans and the kind of residents who used to star in your childhood nightmares. Debbie's fresh off an Army tour as an MP, which means she's traded dealing with drunk soldiers for managing intoxicated vampires. Lateral move, really.

Everything's going swimmingly in this supernatural Mayberry until sweet, cantankerous Clara Jensen—yes, she was both sweet AND cantankerous, it's called range—gets murdered so spectacularly that even the monsters are like, "Whoa, too much." We're talking a crime scene that would make True Detective go, "Maybe dial it back a bit."

And here's the kicker: the killer kept her head. As a trophy. Because apparently just murdering people is so 2024.

But Clara's just the appetizer. This psychopath isn't hunting humans—it's hunting the monsters. Vampires are getting decimated. Goblins are getting shredded like discount cheese. Two trolls are in the ICU, and if you've ever tried to hurt a troll, you know that's like successfully punching a mountain.

Now our heroes have to answer the ultimate question: How do you fight the thing that makes monsters wet their monster pants? What exactly scares the bejeezus out of a werewolf? What gives vampires nightmares? (Besides garlic bread shortages and stake sales at Home Depot.)

To make matters worse, Debbie's best friend has gone missing—again—because apparently this friend treats disappearing like a hobby. And the past is coming back to haunt them, which in a town full of actual ghosts, really says something.

Beware The Boogerman is what happens when Hot Fuzz meets What We Do in the Shadows, gets drunk, and wakes up next to Dean Koontz. It's paranormal horror that asks the important questions: Can a small-town sheriff save his monster constituency? Will Deputy "Don't Call Me Dinkie" Debbie find her chronically disappearing friend? And seriously, what kind of résumé do you need to become the official Monster Town sheriff?

One thing's for sure: In Prattville, "protect and serve" takes on a whole new meaning. And yes, they probably have the worst Yelp reviews in America.

If you love small-town horror with a dark twist, this is the book for you. Grab your copy of Beware The Boogerman today and prepare for the nightmare that awaits.